Omnia · Vanitas

I am young.
So I light a cigarette
Because I am young.
The only brevity of life
I see is the smoke
That billows out of my lungs.
I am young,
So I have forever.
 
Forever is too long for me
To see my own demise.
I am young so I can while my youth away
And light another cigarette.
 
I like my cigarettes,
But I do not like my youth.

Nobody knows
Just why we're here
Could it be fate
Or random circumstance
At the right place
At the right time
Two roads intertwine
 
And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives
To make us
Fuel and fire
Then know
Where ever you will be
So too shall I be
 
Close your eyes
Dry your tears
'Coz when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here
 
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You'll be safe here
 
Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong
 
And though the world would
Never understand
This unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe
 
When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here
 
Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything's unclear
You'll be safe here
 
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart
 
When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
 
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here
 
In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You'll be safe here
 
When no one understands
I'll believe
You'll be safe,
You'll be safe
You'll be safe here

Put your heart in my hands
You'll be safe here
 



 

Why Brownlee left, and where he went,
Is a mystery even now.
For if a man should have been content
It was him; two acres of barley,
One of potatoes, four bullocks,
A milker, a slated farmhouse.
He was last seen going out to plough
On a March morning, bright and early.
 
By noon Brownlee was famous;
They had found all abandoned, with
The last rig unbroken, his pair of black
Horses, like man and wife,
Shifting their weight from foot to
Foot, and gazing into the future.

Paul Muldoon

I don't believe in many things. But I believe in:
 
1. Coffee
2. Marlboro Reds
3. Jack Daniels
 
& you may be unable to figure out why, but trust me, it's more all encompassing then you think.

What is the persistence of the human spirit? What is it that leads men to push the boundaries of time and space in search of a shred that justifies a reason for existence? Perhaps we may be but a clash of cosmic rubble leading to an inequality waiting to be resolved. It is likely, since amidst all our pursuits and endeavours, waiting is what we do best.
 
It can be argued that we are waiting for the opportunity to leave behind our mark in the textbook of humanity - but in truth, amidst our tinkerings, we are all waiting for our inevitable end.
 
I am tired. Tired of my inexhaustible persistence that has led me to think I am invincible. There has been no force strong enough as determined by physics to halt the determination of man, the hope beyond hope in myself. I move from one obstacle to the next as easily as the latter wave pushes the wave in passing; and I have loved as ceaselessly as the wave that caresses the shore.
 
Each of my comings is unique in itself as I reach further, and further across your seemingly eternal body. Each of my shortcomings i unlike the one before as I recoil in embarrassment of my insatiable appetite and humbled by the stillness of your patience.
 
I wear everything around me out, only to find I will never be worn out. I claim from your surface so as to fill my depths. I will never be satisfied. I will never be satisfied until the infinity of my waters embraces your body completely.
 
I will lay down before the test of time, and time in passing will leave me behind. Then, I shall be truly infinite, as how I was always meant to be.
 
Nothing can break me down now.
 
Nothing will be out of reach.

I am surfing the ocean of the world wide spider web for Hope. Amidst the entanglements I hope to discover clarity and transience. Amidst my findings thus far are emotional enjambments continuing the day after, caesuras amidst breaths, post-mortem-adventures at the start of next stanzas.
 
The primary concern is immortality, and this race has been at this for 3 millennia at least. As soon as the discovery was made that literally is near impossibility at present, they have achieved the divine status through vicarious means. Forging reputations, legacies, heritage and cultures in their passing. They have become apt at doing so - apt at suffering.
 
They take their suffering seriously. With utmost vigour and passion they plow through each day in search of happiness, fail incredibly at doing so, become depressed, find contentment in their depression, and finally arrive at happiness with their content. It is a long and troubling process, but at least... by the time these words are written, I would have arrived at a suitable conclusion.
 
A bird upon a tree is not loneliness, it is hope. The gathering of dark clouds is not despondence, it is hope. Fighting and warring is not destruction, it is hope. Maybe, maybe every ounce of pain is as it truly is; the refreshment of each raindrop, the warmth of each ray of light. Realise, that all we suffer is but a measure of how fully we have lived our lives.
 
Since feeling is first, and I have thrown both my logic and logical fallacies away a long time ago already.